Tonight not only features the first female Blood and Guts match, but also the first time two Blood and Guts matches will happen in the same night! The Triangle of Madness and friends will take on an all-star team of morally upstanding ladyfolk, while the Death Riders will look to avoid justice against the extended Conglomeration! Rounding out the night’s action, AEW World Champion Hangman Page will face Powerhouse Hobbs in a Falls Count Anywhere Match, which might technically also be the first match on the same card as a (The Art Of) Wargames/Blood and Guts/Whatever MLW calls it Match where pinfalls are legal in either ring! Except in GCW, where they just seem to do that as part of their regular rules.
Match One: Blood and Guts: Triangle of Madness, TBS Champion (Plus Nearly a Dozen Other Championships) Mercedes Mone, Megan Bayne and Marina Shafir vs. Toni Storm, Harley Cameron, Shirakawa Mina, Willow Nightingale, Women’s World Champion Kris Statlander and Jamie Hayter
Skye Blue and Willow Nightingale Start
Skye comes out with a kendo stick, Willow comes out with a trash can lid.
They start swinging away with their respective weapons between the rings, then hockey fight, Willow with a lariat, they move to the further ring, Willow tosses Blue into two adjacent turnbuckles, punches, hair pull spin toss, kick, toss to the scaffolding around the ring, forearms, trading unsuccessful attempts to toss each other into the cage wall, Willow with a punch to the back, back in the ring, Willow with a suplex onto the ropes, running boot, slingshot Alley Oop into the cage wall, tackle into an adjacent portion of the cage wall, climbs the turnbuckle, poses, climbs back out of the ring, drags Blue into the ring, forearms, toss into the near ring, toss to the corner, lariats, lariat in the middle of the ring, sets Blue up top, punches to the back, Blue with forearms, punches to the back, Willow goes for a superplex, blocked, trading shots.
Julia Hart Enters
Hart and Blue tee off on Willow, double team powerbomb, Hart slams Willow’s head into the turnbuckle, pulls the cover off the connector (which I only recently learned is the part technically called the turnbuckle), Old School, Blue and Hart search for something hidden in the turnbuckle pads but don’t find it, Willow escapes to the far ring, Sisters of Sin chase her and beat her down.
Harley Cameron Enters
Harley comes in with a chair, tosses it at both opponents, beats down Hart, avalanches to both of them, Willow joins in, Harley dropkicks a chair into Hart’s face, Willow hits a cannonball with the garbage can lid to Blue, dual ten-punches, take turns hitting a suplex, Willow lays the trash can lid on Hart and then slams Blue onto the pile, go to toss their opponents into the corner, both opponents rebound, beatdown, double team suplex to Harley, Hart hits Harley with a trash can lid, kicks to Willow, brawl erupts, Willow hits Hart with a Pounce as Harley beats down Blue.
Thekla Enters
Thekla cleans house, grabs a belt that she had wrapped around her boot and starts whipping her opponents with it.
Jamie Hayter Enters
Hayter enters with a bag, smacks Blue with it so hard that it breaks and we can see that it has tacks in it, grabs a barbed wire kendo stick, which might be the original kendo stick and we’re just now noticing the barbed wire, she cleans house with it, Sisters of Sin go for a double team suplex, get suplexed instead, Thekla with a punch, goes for a bulldog, reversed into a slam onto the tacks face first, comes out swinging with the belt.
Megan Bayne Enters
Okay, so they are clearly kayfabing the times between entrances.
Hayter stares down Bayne, but Bayne still hits her with a Claymore and starts tossing all of her opponents around, Hayter gets to her feet and they brawl, but Bayne hits a fireman’s carry front slam, German, Harley hits Bayne with a trash can lid, Bayne isn’t phased, boots Harley, slams her onto the lid.
Kris Statlander Enters
Stat enters with a pool cue, goes up top, leaps and breaks it across Bayne’s back, cleans house, tosses Thekla out of the ring and into the cage wall, Blue Thunder Bomb and a Vader Bomb to Bayne, grabs the broken pool cue, has a moment with Willow, Bayne shoves Stat into Willow, Stat and Bayne get into a hockey fight, Bayne gets the better of it, misses an avalanche, Stat hits running strikes in the corner, in the other ring Hart is beating Hayter with the kendo stick, Bayne and Stat continue to fight back and forth, Willos attacks Hart with the trash can lid but Blue comes to her rescue, only to get a kendo stick shot from Hayter, Bayne dumps Harley to the apron and tosses her into the beam attaching the two halves of the cage, continues beating her down, powerbomb, blocked as Harley grabs the cage wall, then starts climbinb the column, Bayne gives chase, Harley tosses her head into the column until she falls, Harley then dives on several opponents.
Mercedes Mone Enters
Mone briefly cleans house until Stat goes to Tombstone her onto the Women’s World Championship belt, but it’s reversed into a DDT onto the belt, Mone dances with the belt, walks out of the cage, starts grabbing all her championships and bringing them into the ring, the baddies start beating their opponents with championship belts.
Shirakawa Mina Enters
Shirakawa has a barbed wire bat. She clubs Thekla with it, throws it to Bayne and then dropkicks her, crossbody to both Sisters of Sin, Mone grabs the bat but Stat helps Shirakawa hit her with a hurricanrana, trading forearms with Mone,
Marina Shafir Enters
The bad guy side is now complete. She enters from the other side, I didn’t know there was a door there. Shafir pulls Stat out of the cage, tosses her into the barricade, reveals a bed of nails hidden in a different part of the barricade, Stat goes to slam her onto it, Shafir blocks, roundhouse kick, Stat falls on the bed of nails, enters the cage, tees off on Hayter.
Toni Storm Enters
Storm enters with a fist full of pears and grabs Mone’s champagne bucket.
Blood and Guts Officially Begins
Storm starts hitting people with the pearls, until she gets to Shafir, who shrugs it off, starts beating down Storm, around the ring the bad guys look to be holding the night, Storm starts punching people with broken bottle in her hand, Shirakawa joins in, full brawl breaks out, Hayter ends up elbow dropping Blue through a table, Blue and Thekla hit a double team superplex to Hayter, Harley punches Mone with brass knuckles, Hart and Thekla beat down Harley, they then slide out of the cage through the gaps in the column, demand the key from the outside ref, Thekla spears him, they grab the key, open the door, Harley and Hayter get pulled out and beat down, Stat runs back into the fray, Stat and Mone start climbing the corner column, Stat pulls Mone’s leg through the column and starts wrenching it, Mone with boots, Stat hits her with a Samoan Drop through the belt table, Storm and Shirakawa DDT Shafir onto broken champagne bottle glass back in the ring, Storm lays a mirror across Shafir in the corner, goes for a running hip attack, Shafir throws the mirror at her, Shirakawa turns into an angry widow and starts beating the shit out of Bayne with a barbed wire bat, figure four with the bat, Shafir steps on the glass with her bare feet, stomps on Mina, Bayne beats down Shirakawa with the TBS Championship as the rest of the baddie team hold Toni Storm back and make her watch, Storm eventually surrenders.
Winners: Triangle of Madness, Megan Bayne, Marina Shafir and Mercedes Mone
They beat down Storm after the bell. Goddamn, that was a hell of a match.
After a commercial, cameras catch the Don Callis Family brawling with Jurassic Express. They get the better of it by virtue of superior numbers. Okada emerges from a trailer with the Young Bucks, and Don Callis reveals this was a gift for them, before inviting them to join again.
Match Two: Falls Count Anywhere: AEW Men’s World Champion Hangman Page vs. Powerhouse Hobbs (Non-Title)
Trading strikes, Hobbs goes for Snake Eyes into an exposed turnbuckle, blocked, trading forearms, Hobbs with a punch to the gut, Hangman tosses him into the space between the rings, springboard lariat, another, Hobbs into the near ring, Hangman misses a top rope clothesline, Hobbs with a lariat, tosses Page into the barricade, then apron, rolls him back into the ring, Hangman with a suicide dive, punch, toss into the barricade, Hobbs with a face wash, toss into the ring post, into the barricade, punches Hangman into a pile against the ring steps, cannonball, misses, Hangman goes to leap off the steps, Hobbs grabs him, slams him into the apron, then the announce table, climbs the steps, World’s Strongest Slam onto the steps, rolls him off the steps, Page with punches to the gut, Hobbs with a knee, backbreaker, punch to the back, rolls Page into the ring, follows, punch to the back, knee to the side, headbutt, double axe handle to the back, toss into the middle portion, Page with a boot, Hobbs tackles Hangman, sending him ping ponging between the two sets of ropes, Hobbs with a forearm, punch to the back, slam into the turnbuckle, powerslam for two, toss to the floor, clears the announce table, lays Hangman on it, gets up on it, his foot goes through the table but he recovers, goes for a powerbomb, reversed into a back body drop off the table, clotheslines Hobbs over the barricade, beats Hobbs down on the floor, Hobbs goes to toss him into the outer barricade, reversed, Hangman with a moonsault from the outer barricade, lariat from atop the barricade, Dead Eye, blocked, Hangman with a boot, hits Hobbs with a garbage can, Hobbs spinebusters Hangman through a nearby table for two, drags Hangman up the stairs into the stands, goes for a World’s Strongest Slam off the entryway, blocked with lariats, Hangman clubs Hobbs with his boot and Hobbs falls through a production table, Hangman climbs down and covers for three.
Winner: Hangman Page
The rest of the Opps attack Page after the bell, with Joe beating Page with a chair. He calls for the Blood and Guts cage to be lowered, which apparently he has the power to make happen because it starts lowering. Before it can come down, Eddie Kingston and Hook make the save. Page grabs a mic and says all Joe had to do was ask if he wanted him in a cage. He makes the challenge for Full Gear to be a cage match.
